It's been a few weeks since I've released anything new...ok I'll be honest its been almost a month.  I am a strong believer in quality.  With life getting in the way I didn't feel I was capable of handling my writing career and my extra curricular activities in a fashion that would allow for the quality I wanted with each.  But timing has finally allowed me a few hours to write some hot and passionate stories, and the first to release in my "second round" is Cheer Squad: Jeni's Party. 

I'll let you go and search out the "Sneak peek" and the description, since they're splashed three times on this website and available on Barnes and Noble and Amazon, and allow this blog to pull in some exciting and fun little incites. 

Since today is supposed to be a "Sex Filled Monday Blog"  (following my very loose pattern, hehe) I thought I'd talk about threesome sex, since that is what Jeni's Party is all about.  

Despite a relatively common fantasy (approximately 1 in 4) threesomes are still considered "taboo" enough that only 14 percent of American's admitted to having one.

What is the appeal?  Is it the voyeuristic nature while two partners are going at it?  Is it the idea of providing two people pleasure?  Being given the idea confirmation that two people want you?  I think the answer varies, but in the cases where threesomes work for the group involved it usually has to do with a strong level of trust and experimentation, adding spice to an already spicy love life.  One healthy and strong enough to have continued with or without the threesome.

The good news is as erotic authors we rarely have to deal with the aftermath and emotional drama that sometimes accompanies threesomes (unless of course that is the plot!).  We get to explore positions otherwise difficult or even impossible, we get to decide which hole is filled when and what body part is sucked first!  True to make the scene sexiest it should have some level of emotional charge, but we decide if our characters will be effected by societal issues.  And in most cases as erotic authors we're looking for the potential for a phenomenally good time more than for a social statement. 

Sex and Crisis have long been bedfellows, whether its sex causing crisis, sex as comfort to crisis, or sex as a solution.  

Take in account the infamous sex scene on M*A*S*H* between Hawkeye and Major Houlihan.  Argue, argue,, bombshell, argue, argue, bombshell, passionate kiss fade to black.  As a child I didn't understand it and asked my mother about it.  My mother tried to explain it as simply a moment of comfort in crisis.  

On the radio a little while ago there was a discussion about a soldier in Afghanistan who had had a wild tryst with a woman there and the consequences and crisis that developed with his fiance back home.  He had tried to explain that he'd felt so numb and terrified and wasn't certain if he would live throughout the night and had used sex as a distraction, and I remembered that episode of M*A*S*H*.  That it was meaningless in any other situation.

You may be saying "Ok that's a moment of comfort in crisis, and obviously it caused a crisis between the soldier and fiance, but when could sex ever solve a problem!"  Consider Moulin Rouge!, sex fits in all three categories within this movie: crisis because Satine (the courtesan) falls in love with Christian (the writer), and thus cannot woo the Duke for money, comfort because they find love in each other's arms, and the solution because their love was inspiration for his writing.  Another key example is Pretty Woman, once again touching on the crisis in the end the physical sex grew into the love that both characters needed to develop and blossom.   


The point is that writing sex isn't always as simple as writing about fucking.  Sure we write graphic and exciting sex scenes, and in most cases all of our story is about the sex, but the best ones truly use the sex as the key point of the story, the crisis, the solution, the comfort.   

When you have been with a lover for any amount of time one of the biggest complaints is that sex isn't as "fun" anymore.  Its not new, spontaneity will help with that thrill.


But how do you put spontaneity into your sex life?

1) Think outside of the box.  This is a challenge for everyone, but its also a big bunch of fun!  Fantasize.  Where in your house haven't you made love to your partner?  Where is somewhere you often go together?  Do you hike?  Do you own your own store?  Keep these to yourself and watch for just the right moment.

2) Allow for time.  If you know that you are supposed to be to work by 8 and your partner has to be there by 7, "accidently" set the alarm early and join him or her in the shower.  Start the morning with some lovely and surprising oral or a hand job.  Help cover the chores your partner wants to get done so they have more time with you. 

3) Be aware of your partner's mood.  Think about the time when he or she tends to be at their "randiest." Mine tends to be about 2-3 o'clock in the afternoon.  Be available during that time and help to assist that horny mood in any ways you know how (flirting, spanking, tweaking, teasing.)

4) Keep clean up on hand.  If you need condoms keep them on hand, its also a good idea to keep a few wipes available, because lets face it sex is a dirty business, your partner will be pleased if you came prepared!

5) Listen for clues.  This one goes toward 3, your partner may be dropping hints all the time for ways for you to be spontaneous.  Have they ever talked about getting a hand job in public?  Maybe the next movie you should take a jacket and play with him or her in the darkness under the coat.  Have they been talking about dropping the kids off at your parents for the weekend?  Maybe you should arrange that and realize that they're wanting YOU.  

When you start watching for situations you may become surprised how easy it is to get with your lover.

How do you keep spontaneity in your life?  How do you keep the spice alive?  Feel free to leave me a comment! :) 

Oral is one of the finer pleasures during sex, but its not for everyone, and everyone won't enjoy it to the same degree.

My lover adores oral, he can never truly be satiated with it, the idea of getting it morning and night with the occasional afternoon bj would be grand for him.

Me? I'm ok with it. A definite “to do” in certain instances, when I'm wildly aroused, when I'm in the shower or tub, or just after. Its not that I don't love the sensations its fear. I'm a “wet orgasmer” which I am still learning to accept and be comfortable with. I have no issue taking my lover's “load” and bringing as much pleasure to him as I can, but it intimidates me to have him go down on me.

Oral is one of those “sensitive” aspects of sex that some societies and cultures have difficulties accepting, and many people who have not yet experienced it are hesitant to for those reason and the idea that it is “dirty.”

For those of us that have experienced it for years we have to be careful to ensure it doesn't go stagnant and is still enjoyable for both partners.

Here are some tips to encourage a new partner or to enhance an old partner's pleasure:

~The Shower or Bath. In addition to having the comfort of warm water it may also help a new partner get past the “its dirty” aspects, what can be cleaner than a bath?

~BJ Drops. These fun little drops are great for adding a completely different aspect; they awaken the sensation of smell and taste with pleasurable and comforting flavors like chocolate, cinnamon, and mint.
 
~Music. Set your iPod to shuffle or turn on a mixed CD that has different tempos and themes. Time your thrusts and sucks to the music. Following tempos may help to bring your lover to ecstasy quick though – so beware!

~Different Positions. Just like with “normal” sex, oral can be experienced with many different positions, allowing both partners the experience of different sensations. There's the classic 69 position, the “T” (the partner going down is perpendicular to the other's genitals.). But there's also sitting and standing positions. Position the partner giving on the floor crosslegged and leaning back on his or her hands. The partner being served steps over their lover with their crotch right over. This is a pretty dominant-submissive position and allows the standing partner to thrust, grind, and dictate the oral.

~Exploration. Not just for new partners, make a game of exploring your lover's sex fully. What happens when you nibble with your lips? your teeth? your tongue? What happens when you thrust them into your throat? your cheek? your teeth? Do they like it when you blow? when you hum? when you gyrate?

Make sure to always keep up communication with your partner whenever you are wanting to add spice to your sexual relationship, talk about their fears or concerns. Perhaps you'll find out they have real issues with hair and you should shave before you start, or perhaps you'll find out its a religious upbringing they may or may not wish to let go of. Respect your partners fears, discuss with them your thoughts and feelings.