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Oral – To Do or Not To Do?

4/16/2012

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Oral is one of the finer pleasures during sex, but its not for everyone, and everyone won't enjoy it to the same degree.

My lover adores oral, he can never truly be satiated with it, the idea of getting it morning and night with the occasional afternoon bj would be grand for him.

Me? I'm ok with it. A definite “to do” in certain instances, when I'm wildly aroused, when I'm in the shower or tub, or just after. Its not that I don't love the sensations its fear. I'm a “wet orgasmer” which I am still learning to accept and be comfortable with. I have no issue taking my lover's “load” and bringing as much pleasure to him as I can, but it intimidates me to have him go down on me.

Oral is one of those “sensitive” aspects of sex that some societies and cultures have difficulties accepting, and many people who have not yet experienced it are hesitant to for those reason and the idea that it is “dirty.”

For those of us that have experienced it for years we have to be careful to ensure it doesn't go stagnant and is still enjoyable for both partners.

Here are some tips to encourage a new partner or to enhance an old partner's pleasure:

~The Shower or Bath. In addition to having the comfort of warm water it may also help a new partner get past the “its dirty” aspects, what can be cleaner than a bath?

~BJ Drops. These fun little drops are great for adding a completely different aspect; they awaken the sensation of smell and taste with pleasurable and comforting flavors like chocolate, cinnamon, and mint.
 
~Music. Set your iPod to shuffle or turn on a mixed CD that has different tempos and themes. Time your thrusts and sucks to the music. Following tempos may help to bring your lover to ecstasy quick though – so beware!

~Different Positions. Just like with “normal” sex, oral can be experienced with many different positions, allowing both partners the experience of different sensations. There's the classic 69 position, the “T” (the partner going down is perpendicular to the other's genitals.). But there's also sitting and standing positions. Position the partner giving on the floor crosslegged and leaning back on his or her hands. The partner being served steps over their lover with their crotch right over. This is a pretty dominant-submissive position and allows the standing partner to thrust, grind, and dictate the oral.

~Exploration. Not just for new partners, make a game of exploring your lover's sex fully. What happens when you nibble with your lips? your teeth? your tongue? What happens when you thrust them into your throat? your cheek? your teeth? Do they like it when you blow? when you hum? when you gyrate?

Make sure to always keep up communication with your partner whenever you are wanting to add spice to your sexual relationship, talk about their fears or concerns. Perhaps you'll find out they have real issues with hair and you should shave before you start, or perhaps you'll find out its a religious upbringing they may or may not wish to let go of. Respect your partners fears, discuss with them your thoughts and feelings.    
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